It was the day of Ganesh immersion, the city was shut down and all the roads were blocked. There were cops all over the place and all of us were instructed not to go on to the roads without informing our folks. It was a day all my mates from the neighborhood looked forward as the procession happened only once every year and for us, Muslim kids it was a holiday when we were free as we did not have to go for prayers nor visit our relatives or greet them. Some of our neighbors were part of the Scout’s troop and gave voluntary duty on the roads and helped the police with the security. The rest of us gathered on the terrace of the tallest building in our locality and watched the procession go by. We used to enjoy the sights and the sounds of the procession especially Motu, who never took his eyes of the road and kept enjoying every moment with his binoculars. He used to call us whenever he saw something special like this year he had spotted a Ganesh idol made out of pure gold and one that looked like Shankar Bhagwan. I would call Chottu to find out what time the Khairtabad Ganesh idol, the tallest one from the city would pass from Abids and we would wait eagerly for it.
Timmy wanted to go on to road for a while and have some kulfi and dance for a bit so we asked the watchman of our apartment to accompany us. We took permission from our parents and headed to the roads excited and pleased. Blaring loud music, people dancing like crazy, throwing Prasad and water at the public watching them was what we enjoyed the most. Once Billu and Timmy had eaten their share of kulfi,bhel puri, dahi papdi and drank three glasses of lassi each, we headed back to our places and decided to gather on the terrace again after lunch. I couldn’t imagine anyone could still be hungry after hogging on so much street food but knowing Billu’s appetite I knew he was still hungry, he always was.
Around 3.30 pm all of us gathered on the terrace again and were playing cricket when Motu spotted a huge commotion and we heard sounds of firing and people running all over the place. In a few minutes, everyone from the neighborhood was on the terrace wondering what was going on. Police sirens and ambulances were spotted everywhere. Motu was glued to his Binoculars and had spotted a major stampede happening near Central Publishers Stationary. My mom along with the other ladies from the apartment looked really worried and some of them were weeping. Salman’s dad handed him his cell phone and asked our mates to call their parents and inform that they were safe and with him. We did not understand what was happening. The procession happened everywhere but nothing like this had ever happened before. Timmy’s dad then arrived and said that he had just watched the news and there had been a scuffle between Hindus and the Muslims near a mosque in Begum Bazaar and this minor incident had escalated to the other parts of the city too. The old city was on a lock down and the police were on high alert. Just then we saw flames and Yam General Store near my school was burning. The smoke from its flames rose high above the city and it looked like the whole city was covered by a sky of smoke. Someone mentioned that the crowd was turning unruly and had done this mischief as the shop was owned by a Muslim. I couldn’t imagine who would want to burn down the store of the poor Mushtaq uncle, a pious and religious man who used to give us candies for free and joked that if he could he would never take any money from any of us but he had too to earn his livelihood. He was a Muslim but he did not differentiate or bother about who came to his shop. He treated all of us equally. I knew Dhawal would be really sad that his favorite store had been burned down and had been reduced to ashes. Where would he buy WWF trump cards now, where would we go when school was over and the canteen was closed? There were thousands of Hindu kids in school like him who would be heart broken. My thoughts were broken by the sounds of fire brigades arriving and firemen trying their best to stop the fire from escalating. My dad asked all the women to take the children home so that we were not exposed to anymore of these gory scenes. We wanted to stay but were forced to go home. Eventually we decided to stay together and watch the news in Salman’s house. The news reporter said that there were incidents and riots all over the city and now a temple had been destroyed by some Muslim rioters near Charminar and the police were having a hard time controlling the anti social elements and the Rapid Action Force and the Military had been pressed into action. I wondered who these haters were. I wondered if this would change things forever. A lot of my friends were Hindus and my dad had spent all his life doing business with the Marwadis in Begum Bazaar. I did not know any Hindus who hated me or my family and I knew for sure that neither I nor any of the Muslims I knew hated the Hindus and my belief was reinforced when Tarun’s mom called my place to enquire if all of us were alright and when I saw the sights on the news of a Muslim, carrying a bleeding Hindu Priest on his shoulders out of a Temple and putting him in an ambulance and the fireman trying to douse the fire at Yam General Store had a red Tilak on his forehead. Just then mom said something that cleared our thoughts, No religion in the world preaches fighting and violence and in any situation a riot is always wrong. The people who indulged in these riots did not have a religion and they only did all this to achieve their own selfish motives at the expense of the poor Indian public and played with the sentiments of thousands of people. She also said one more thing that none of us will ever forget and is my mantra in life, “WE ARE INDIANS, BEFORE WE ARE ANYTHING ELSE.”
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
CHAPTER 9- SEX EDUCATION
Biology was a very boring subject. It was generally depressing when our teachers talked about stomata, stigma and the Human Digestive System. But one Chapter that everyone was looking forward to was Human Reproduction, which was chapter 9 and on pages 156 to 183 in our text books. I remember it so distinctly because every time we opened our text books we inadvertently turned to that chapter and looked at the diagrams of the male and female reproductive organs.
Chapter 8 had been completed and we all knew that the next day we were going to study the only chapter we were excited about studying in our 12 years of schooling. Andy was specially looking forward to this day and couldn’t hide his excitement. But it was nothing like what we were expecting. Sheela teacher came in and started talking about Human Reproduction and mentioning strange stuff like Ovaries, eggs, ovules, X and Y chromosomes etc. The only word we were familiar with was sperm and that too was called spermatozoa. Dhawal and Chottu giggled every time it was mentioned and Jogesh looked a bit embarrassed. Most of us were really disappointed that the chapter had not lived up to our expectations. What we wanted to know about was how to do it, what was the right way to do it and I specially wanted to know how could the well endowed African American porn star in the porn movie could keep going for 2 hours non stop. It looked like a tough task and if that was the way it was supposed to happen I couldn’t imagine Andy could have ever had sex. He couldn’t climb the stairs to the dining hall without looking dazed and out of breath and looking at his thin body structure his family doctor could have ordered him to keep of sex for life and if he ever did it he would have succumbed to death because of an asthma attack. Imagine how the headlines in the newspapers would read the next day. Young Lean Malnourished boy succumbs due to his sexual urges. The bell rang and I guess Sheela teacher had guessed that all of us were totally confused and knew what kind of questions were running through our minds. So before leaving she informed us that the chapter will be completed in the next couple of days and then we would have a session on Sex Education where all our doubts and questions would be answered.
It was Saturday and all of us were sitting in class in our colored clothing as we were allowed to wear what we liked and not be stuffed in our uniforms and ties on Saturdays. We felt liberated. I was looking forward to the session on sex education and discussing it with my mates from the colony on Sunday and boasting about how I knew more about sex than them. Just then the Principal walked in and closed the door behind him. All of us were startled and stood up to wish him Good Morning. He wished us back and asked us to sit down and then announced that he was here to take the session on sex education.
I thought it was ironic that someone who had given up sex by taking a wow of celibacy was going to talk to us about Sex Education. I wondered when the last time he had done it was or had he ever had sex in his life? He started the session by asking us to shed all our inhibitions and ask him all the doubts we had as we were mature now and should not believe in the false stories and imaginary myths that our friends told us about sex. He said that in America everybody was given sex education by their parents and they called it talking about the birds and the bees. Now that’s an expression that I have still not understood and I never will. Where do birds and bees come in while talking about sex? In the words of famous Indian comedian Vir Das, I would be willing to pay good money to watch a bee doing a bird doggy style. The principal talked about how we should be vary of HIV and aids and how we should talk about sex and not treat it as a taboo. This again got me thinking that we Indians are the biggest hypocrites in the world. We treat sex as a taboo and still we are the second largest population in the world. The Principal answered all our questions and cleared our minds to a large extent. After that we never giggled or felt shy whenever sex or Human Reproductive organs were mentioned and now I believe all young people should be given sex education. I know I will talk about he birds and bees to my kids will you?
Chapter 8 had been completed and we all knew that the next day we were going to study the only chapter we were excited about studying in our 12 years of schooling. Andy was specially looking forward to this day and couldn’t hide his excitement. But it was nothing like what we were expecting. Sheela teacher came in and started talking about Human Reproduction and mentioning strange stuff like Ovaries, eggs, ovules, X and Y chromosomes etc. The only word we were familiar with was sperm and that too was called spermatozoa. Dhawal and Chottu giggled every time it was mentioned and Jogesh looked a bit embarrassed. Most of us were really disappointed that the chapter had not lived up to our expectations. What we wanted to know about was how to do it, what was the right way to do it and I specially wanted to know how could the well endowed African American porn star in the porn movie could keep going for 2 hours non stop. It looked like a tough task and if that was the way it was supposed to happen I couldn’t imagine Andy could have ever had sex. He couldn’t climb the stairs to the dining hall without looking dazed and out of breath and looking at his thin body structure his family doctor could have ordered him to keep of sex for life and if he ever did it he would have succumbed to death because of an asthma attack. Imagine how the headlines in the newspapers would read the next day. Young Lean Malnourished boy succumbs due to his sexual urges. The bell rang and I guess Sheela teacher had guessed that all of us were totally confused and knew what kind of questions were running through our minds. So before leaving she informed us that the chapter will be completed in the next couple of days and then we would have a session on Sex Education where all our doubts and questions would be answered.
It was Saturday and all of us were sitting in class in our colored clothing as we were allowed to wear what we liked and not be stuffed in our uniforms and ties on Saturdays. We felt liberated. I was looking forward to the session on sex education and discussing it with my mates from the colony on Sunday and boasting about how I knew more about sex than them. Just then the Principal walked in and closed the door behind him. All of us were startled and stood up to wish him Good Morning. He wished us back and asked us to sit down and then announced that he was here to take the session on sex education.
I thought it was ironic that someone who had given up sex by taking a wow of celibacy was going to talk to us about Sex Education. I wondered when the last time he had done it was or had he ever had sex in his life? He started the session by asking us to shed all our inhibitions and ask him all the doubts we had as we were mature now and should not believe in the false stories and imaginary myths that our friends told us about sex. He said that in America everybody was given sex education by their parents and they called it talking about the birds and the bees. Now that’s an expression that I have still not understood and I never will. Where do birds and bees come in while talking about sex? In the words of famous Indian comedian Vir Das, I would be willing to pay good money to watch a bee doing a bird doggy style. The principal talked about how we should be vary of HIV and aids and how we should talk about sex and not treat it as a taboo. This again got me thinking that we Indians are the biggest hypocrites in the world. We treat sex as a taboo and still we are the second largest population in the world. The Principal answered all our questions and cleared our minds to a large extent. After that we never giggled or felt shy whenever sex or Human Reproductive organs were mentioned and now I believe all young people should be given sex education. I know I will talk about he birds and bees to my kids will you?
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
CHAPTER 8- THE MYTH OF CLASS TENTH
The first day of our last year at school, the first day of tenth class. I was really excited at seeing all my school mates again after a while. Everything around was new, brighter uniforms and shoes, cooler school bags, heavier text books and a new class room. Our new class room XB was located on the ground floor which was ironic as it was right adjacent to the basketball court and if we peeped out from the window we could see the canteen area too. I wondered who had come up with the brilliant idea of having the tenth standard classrooms on the ground floor where we could be easily distracted. It was like making a difficult thing even more challenging. But then my eyes drifted a bit to the right and I noticed that the Principal’s office was too close to our comfort. I don’t know how many feet or meters away it was but it was so close that if he farted I am sure we could have smelt it. Maybe that was the reason our class rooms were on the ground floor so that the Principal could keep an eye on us.
Dhawal and I sat on the same bench and wondered who our class teacher would be and hoped it wasn’t the boring Miss Suzie or the too strict Miss Madre. Hardik was late as usual and we watched from the windows if he was going to make it before the assembly started.
The bell rang and the whole school gathered in grounds for the first assembly of the new academic year to be greeted by an unfamiliar sight on stage. A tall man with a weird hairdo and lots of marks on his face stood before us in a white cape and all of us started speculating, whispering, murmuring and guessing as to whom he could be and why couldn’t we see our principal. The man walked up to the mike and there was absolute silence now. He welcomed all of us back to school and introduced himself as the new Principal for our school and informed us that our outgoing principal had been transferred to a school in Warangal. His name was Brother Franklin Aroona, he said he was a gold medalist in biology and had been educated in USA. Andy started smiling and whispered what the point in being a gold medalist in biology was, when you have taken a wow of celibacy. Because for him, biology only meant Human Reproduction and he had been eagerly waiting for that chapter to be taught in class and had mentioned it to us at least a 1000 times since the Nepal Trip. The reverend also said that he was a state level basketball player at which my eyes wandered in search on Hardik, who was standing near the gates and finally made it to school 20 minutes late. He looked pleased as he had wondered if tenth class students would be allowed to participate in sporting activities and the signs looked good for us so far. The assembly ended and we headed back to our classes and waited for our class teacher to arrive. It was relief when Mrs. Sheela, the biology teacher entered our class as she was very friendly and helpful. She had been teaching for the last 10 years and all of us respected her a lot. But the disadvantage was that she knew us all too well and immediately changed our seating arrangements in a manner that our gang was separated and we were sat next to the nerds.
Weeks passed by and class tenth so far was largely incident free. All the hype and anticipation had died down and there was nothing special about the tenth class except that we were going to have board exams and pre finals. The subjects too were much easier than what we had expected. All of us felt that the 9th standard math’s was much tougher than what we were studying now. The examination format was easy too. We were given a lot of choices like answer any one from the following three and so on, which made it very easy for us to decide on what to concentrate on and what to leave out. We also had the additional help of Model papers and all our seniors had always told us that the questions would be from these model papers only. Jogesh had also found out that the persons who correct our papers would get 7 rupees 50 paisa per paper that they check, so they wouldn’t be too keen on giving too much attention to any answers and would only be bothered by the amount of papers they corrected. It felt like a mockery of our hard work and learning. The most important year of our lives would be judged by people who got small change for their work. Chottu was particularly agitated by this and said that our education system is run by a bunch of jokers and all of us agreed with his views. So all the build up, all the exaggeration about the tenth class being the most important year of our lives had come to this. We had special classes, expensive tutors, we had stopped going on our weekend trips to Treasure Island in anticipation of our Board exams and then we found out it was all just a Hoax. Like Amir Khan said in 3 idiots, our education system will make all of us well trained but not well educated.
Dhawal and I sat on the same bench and wondered who our class teacher would be and hoped it wasn’t the boring Miss Suzie or the too strict Miss Madre. Hardik was late as usual and we watched from the windows if he was going to make it before the assembly started.
The bell rang and the whole school gathered in grounds for the first assembly of the new academic year to be greeted by an unfamiliar sight on stage. A tall man with a weird hairdo and lots of marks on his face stood before us in a white cape and all of us started speculating, whispering, murmuring and guessing as to whom he could be and why couldn’t we see our principal. The man walked up to the mike and there was absolute silence now. He welcomed all of us back to school and introduced himself as the new Principal for our school and informed us that our outgoing principal had been transferred to a school in Warangal. His name was Brother Franklin Aroona, he said he was a gold medalist in biology and had been educated in USA. Andy started smiling and whispered what the point in being a gold medalist in biology was, when you have taken a wow of celibacy. Because for him, biology only meant Human Reproduction and he had been eagerly waiting for that chapter to be taught in class and had mentioned it to us at least a 1000 times since the Nepal Trip. The reverend also said that he was a state level basketball player at which my eyes wandered in search on Hardik, who was standing near the gates and finally made it to school 20 minutes late. He looked pleased as he had wondered if tenth class students would be allowed to participate in sporting activities and the signs looked good for us so far. The assembly ended and we headed back to our classes and waited for our class teacher to arrive. It was relief when Mrs. Sheela, the biology teacher entered our class as she was very friendly and helpful. She had been teaching for the last 10 years and all of us respected her a lot. But the disadvantage was that she knew us all too well and immediately changed our seating arrangements in a manner that our gang was separated and we were sat next to the nerds.
Weeks passed by and class tenth so far was largely incident free. All the hype and anticipation had died down and there was nothing special about the tenth class except that we were going to have board exams and pre finals. The subjects too were much easier than what we had expected. All of us felt that the 9th standard math’s was much tougher than what we were studying now. The examination format was easy too. We were given a lot of choices like answer any one from the following three and so on, which made it very easy for us to decide on what to concentrate on and what to leave out. We also had the additional help of Model papers and all our seniors had always told us that the questions would be from these model papers only. Jogesh had also found out that the persons who correct our papers would get 7 rupees 50 paisa per paper that they check, so they wouldn’t be too keen on giving too much attention to any answers and would only be bothered by the amount of papers they corrected. It felt like a mockery of our hard work and learning. The most important year of our lives would be judged by people who got small change for their work. Chottu was particularly agitated by this and said that our education system is run by a bunch of jokers and all of us agreed with his views. So all the build up, all the exaggeration about the tenth class being the most important year of our lives had come to this. We had special classes, expensive tutors, we had stopped going on our weekend trips to Treasure Island in anticipation of our Board exams and then we found out it was all just a Hoax. Like Amir Khan said in 3 idiots, our education system will make all of us well trained but not well educated.
Friday, March 12, 2010
CHAPTER 7-BLACK,BLUE,YELLOW AND RED!!!!
We were in Nepal and we were getting bolder by the day. We knew we weren’t going to get this much space any time soon and wanted to make the most of it. Everyday we became a bit more frivolous and naughty. Shah showed us some places that he had seen on his previous trip but were not part of our tour plan. There were mostly things like massage centers and local markets where we could get branded shoes and clothes at a very reasonable rate. Hardik was interested in a massage that was given by a blind man who was very popular but I talked him out of it as I did not think any straight guy would like to be touched by another guy especially a blind one. What if he was not really blind and only pretended to be? What if he asked Hardik to take off all his clothes and liked what he saw? What if he tried to end the massage with a happy ending?
Last day of our tour and we had the whole day to ourselves. The professors had allowed us to spend the day as we chose by either going shopping or staying in and packing for home but we were supposed to be back by 4.00 pm as we were scheduled to leave by 5.00 pm. Everyday we got a bit more used to the place, we knew the people, their customs a bit better now. We also knew where all the hot girls would be and at what time. There were a lot of schools who had come for their excursion to Nepal and the girls from Bishops Cotton School, Bangalore were really hot. We used to pray that we bumped into them at least once everyday. Some of the girls gave us smiles and giggled amongst themselves when they saw us. We never knew if they were being flirty or just laughing at how our mouths opened and our eyes popped every time we saw them in their tiny shorts and little skirts. Sights like those were a rarity in Hyderabad and we wanted to make the most of it. Shah had found out that the girls had come to Nepal on the same time as we did and he guessed they too would leave on that day. He thought that all the girls would be doing some last minute shopping at the local market near by and as they too were away from home we might have a chance of befriending some of them and getting their phone numbers if we tried. Tarun and Dhawal got really excited about this, I was excited too but I knew we weren’t going to get that lucky. Anyway, I decided to go with the flow and we reached the market. No sooner had we gotten there we started searching for the babes from Bangalore but with no luck. It was getting closer to 2 pm and the girls were no where in sight. We were getting more desperate and restless by the minute. Some of us had already given up and were already settling for what we saw in abundance there, Nepali girls. Those beauties were everywhere, shopping, selling or just wandering about the place like they were there just to entice us and all of them smiled at us, maybe out of courtesy but it was all the encouragement we needed. Sometimes we used to ask them for directions and where we could find certain stores so that we could start a conversation but never succeeded. It was our last day in Nepal and I think Shah thought it was his last chance to have some fun. He wanted to be with a girl. So he zeroed upon the hottest Nepali shopkeeper in the market who was selling scarves, wooden baskets and other souvenirs. He went up to her and started chatting her up by asking her the prices of various goods in her shop but with no intention to buy anything whatsoever. She was polite and patient initially but after 10 minutes of all speaking and no spending she looked a bit irritated and tried to brush him off. Shah was persistent tough and did not give up. I think he knew no one other than the gang was going to know about this even if he did not succeed. At least he would have given it his best shot and had some fun.
Shah tried to be a bit bolder now and tried brushing his fingers across her palm when she showed him a keychain. she looked at him with anger in her eyes. Shah was scared now but he gave a sheepish smile and continued talking to her anyway. Her anger had reached simmering point now and she asked all of us to get out. Shah thought she was being a bit rude and said something that sounded to me like “anyway we were not going to buy anything; we were here just for you.” I don’t know what he was thinking when he said that. Maybe he thought she would take it as a compliment or maybe she would feel a bit shy and her temper would cool off. But none of us had expected what happened next. The hot NepaI girl lost it. She started abusing us and yelling at us at the top of her voice. Hearing this, the other shopkeepers from the neighboring shops and tourists started gathering around us. She said something to one of them in their native tongue and we knew we were in deep trouble. We panicked and Chottu said “Bhaago” and we all started running like mad dogs. The Nepali’s ran after us like the cops ran after the bad guys in old Hindi movies. Chottu, Hardik and I managed to escape to safety but the others were not so lucky. We hid behind a huge boulder and from our vantage point we could see a couple of guys had caught hold of Dhawal and Andy and beat the hell out of them. They were made to lie on the floor and kicked everywhere. Shah tried to run but was caught by a guy who was much more agile and fitter than any of us. He was punched in the eye and the face and his nose started bleeding. Tarun tried to help him but the Nepali guy who was much smaller in stature, looked like he was the illegitimate son of Jackie Chan jumped with both his legs in the air and kicked Tarun in the chest. Tarun fell at least three feet away and I think could not breathe for a minute but as soon as he could he ran like there was no tomorrow. The attention had shifted to Tarun and Shah managed to make his escape too. All of us met in the veranda of the school we were staying at, to check the wounds and could not stop laughing at what we had just been through. Shah had gotten a Black eye, Tarun’s face looked lifeless and Blue, Yellow was the color of the shit that we had gotten ourselves into and Red was the color that our faces would turn to trying to explain this misadventure to our teachers and mates. Alas, Shah had to wear sunglasses for a few days, Andy could not walk straight, Tarun did not talk to me for a couple of days because I stood there and saw the whole Tamasha instead of helping him and Chottu came up with a story to cover up the incident. Our Nepal excursion was supposed to be a memorable and colorful chapter of our lives and it indeed was. Every memory, all the fun and all the colors are etched into our minds for ever.
Last day of our tour and we had the whole day to ourselves. The professors had allowed us to spend the day as we chose by either going shopping or staying in and packing for home but we were supposed to be back by 4.00 pm as we were scheduled to leave by 5.00 pm. Everyday we got a bit more used to the place, we knew the people, their customs a bit better now. We also knew where all the hot girls would be and at what time. There were a lot of schools who had come for their excursion to Nepal and the girls from Bishops Cotton School, Bangalore were really hot. We used to pray that we bumped into them at least once everyday. Some of the girls gave us smiles and giggled amongst themselves when they saw us. We never knew if they were being flirty or just laughing at how our mouths opened and our eyes popped every time we saw them in their tiny shorts and little skirts. Sights like those were a rarity in Hyderabad and we wanted to make the most of it. Shah had found out that the girls had come to Nepal on the same time as we did and he guessed they too would leave on that day. He thought that all the girls would be doing some last minute shopping at the local market near by and as they too were away from home we might have a chance of befriending some of them and getting their phone numbers if we tried. Tarun and Dhawal got really excited about this, I was excited too but I knew we weren’t going to get that lucky. Anyway, I decided to go with the flow and we reached the market. No sooner had we gotten there we started searching for the babes from Bangalore but with no luck. It was getting closer to 2 pm and the girls were no where in sight. We were getting more desperate and restless by the minute. Some of us had already given up and were already settling for what we saw in abundance there, Nepali girls. Those beauties were everywhere, shopping, selling or just wandering about the place like they were there just to entice us and all of them smiled at us, maybe out of courtesy but it was all the encouragement we needed. Sometimes we used to ask them for directions and where we could find certain stores so that we could start a conversation but never succeeded. It was our last day in Nepal and I think Shah thought it was his last chance to have some fun. He wanted to be with a girl. So he zeroed upon the hottest Nepali shopkeeper in the market who was selling scarves, wooden baskets and other souvenirs. He went up to her and started chatting her up by asking her the prices of various goods in her shop but with no intention to buy anything whatsoever. She was polite and patient initially but after 10 minutes of all speaking and no spending she looked a bit irritated and tried to brush him off. Shah was persistent tough and did not give up. I think he knew no one other than the gang was going to know about this even if he did not succeed. At least he would have given it his best shot and had some fun.
Shah tried to be a bit bolder now and tried brushing his fingers across her palm when she showed him a keychain. she looked at him with anger in her eyes. Shah was scared now but he gave a sheepish smile and continued talking to her anyway. Her anger had reached simmering point now and she asked all of us to get out. Shah thought she was being a bit rude and said something that sounded to me like “anyway we were not going to buy anything; we were here just for you.” I don’t know what he was thinking when he said that. Maybe he thought she would take it as a compliment or maybe she would feel a bit shy and her temper would cool off. But none of us had expected what happened next. The hot NepaI girl lost it. She started abusing us and yelling at us at the top of her voice. Hearing this, the other shopkeepers from the neighboring shops and tourists started gathering around us. She said something to one of them in their native tongue and we knew we were in deep trouble. We panicked and Chottu said “Bhaago” and we all started running like mad dogs. The Nepali’s ran after us like the cops ran after the bad guys in old Hindi movies. Chottu, Hardik and I managed to escape to safety but the others were not so lucky. We hid behind a huge boulder and from our vantage point we could see a couple of guys had caught hold of Dhawal and Andy and beat the hell out of them. They were made to lie on the floor and kicked everywhere. Shah tried to run but was caught by a guy who was much more agile and fitter than any of us. He was punched in the eye and the face and his nose started bleeding. Tarun tried to help him but the Nepali guy who was much smaller in stature, looked like he was the illegitimate son of Jackie Chan jumped with both his legs in the air and kicked Tarun in the chest. Tarun fell at least three feet away and I think could not breathe for a minute but as soon as he could he ran like there was no tomorrow. The attention had shifted to Tarun and Shah managed to make his escape too. All of us met in the veranda of the school we were staying at, to check the wounds and could not stop laughing at what we had just been through. Shah had gotten a Black eye, Tarun’s face looked lifeless and Blue, Yellow was the color of the shit that we had gotten ourselves into and Red was the color that our faces would turn to trying to explain this misadventure to our teachers and mates. Alas, Shah had to wear sunglasses for a few days, Andy could not walk straight, Tarun did not talk to me for a couple of days because I stood there and saw the whole Tamasha instead of helping him and Chottu came up with a story to cover up the incident. Our Nepal excursion was supposed to be a memorable and colorful chapter of our lives and it indeed was. Every memory, all the fun and all the colors are etched into our minds for ever.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
CHAPTER 6- ME, MY PALS AND NEPAL
Chapter 6- Me, My pals and Nepal.
We arrived in Nepal very exited and enthusiastic. We were hell bent on having fun our way especially because all the strict teachers had decided not to travel with us. I guess they had decided to let us live a little or were sick and tired of seeing and managing us even on a vacation. There were only two teachers traveling with us. One of them was the head of our science department Mr Venkat. He was a quiet and simple, typically south Indian guy who had really short hair that used to stand up straight at the back giving him the look of an exotic love bird. He was a nice guy who knew boys were boys and liked to have fun. He let us speak in our mother tongues when we were on tour and told us not to mention about it to anyone back home, because at school we had a strictly “speak in English” rule otherwise we were fined 5 rupees every time we were caught. 5 rupees may sound small change now but back then 5 rupees meant a perk or a dairy milk candy, it meant a postcard of your favorite WWF wrestler, it meant a new rubber cricket ball and most importantly it meant we did not give the school any more than the ridiculous amounts of money than our parents were already paying as school fees (and they told us education is going to get even more expensive in the future as if it already wasn’t). The other teacher accompanying us was our Hindi professor Mr. Radhesham or Shreemanji as he liked to be called. We called him chimpanzee or chimpu behind his back. He was a funny guy, not funny as in he made you laugh with his sense of humor but funny as in goofy and stupid. He tried to speak in English but pronounced all his E’s as O’ and all his A’s as E’s. I bet he would have lost a fortune if the fine applied to him because even his English sounded like Shuddh Hindi. One of his favorite dialogues was and I quote “When you was in the Sevonth kilaas (Seventh class) you was a very great baai(good boy) but now you have became the very naughty child, stend up (stand up) on the bench with you fingers above your lips.” Hindi had earned him his bread and butter and I guess English was not just his cup of tea.
Nepal was exotic and breathtakingly beautiful with its scenic beauty, mountains and pleasant weather but most of us weren’t really bothered if we were in Nepal or Nampally. All that mattered was that we were with our friends with no real adult supervision. We saw temples, trekked up hills and mountains, clicked pictures with monks but our minds were always elsewhere, the Nepali girls. While our tour guide was explaining us the significance of the silent hands temple or Katmandu’s history our roving eyes were looking at those beauties with tiny eyes and well rounded faces. All of them had great figures unlike 80% of the women in Hyderabad who are either too skinny or too fat and most of them cover their faces behind a burkha.
In school we usually stuck to our group and did not bother about the others too much but in Nepal there were just around 60 of us and we got to know each other pretty well as we spent all day and night together. The days were spent sight seeing and at nights we used to sleep in the huge assembly hall of a Govt. school and that was were we had the most fun. Our Sirs were given a separate room so we were on our own all night. The dark of the night is when you get all your stupidly brilliant ideas and Andy had come up with this one. While all the other boys were fast asleep, we were going to draw moustaches and other graffiti on their faces with our tooth paste and click pictures. All of us were skeptical and first but decided to go with it. So Tarun,Hardik,Dhawal and me spread to one corner of the room and Jogesh, Chottu, Dhawal and Andy went to the other corner and we started our art work and started improvising as we went along. From faces we shifted to hair and armpits as well and hair oil, gel and shaving foam were added to our armory. We got the most amazing pictures but then Dhawal messed up, he liked his art work on one particular guy so much that he couldn’t control his laughter and fell on the guy. That startled the guy and he woke up and saw what was going on. Thankfully he wasn’t the class bully or a senior. He too couldn’t help but laugh when he saw the designs on the others around him. This guys name was Abhijeet Shah. He was a gujju from the A section who got along really well with everyone one. We too were acquainted to him but he was not a friend up until then. Abhijeet or Shah as everyone called him looked more like a Shahlini to me. He was very fair, walked like a girl and had no body hair whatsoever. He was always smiling and could take a lot of shit from everyone. He was the most punished boy in school as he was often thrown out of classes and seen wandering around the Principal’s office more than he was spotted in class. His problem was that he was very talkative and laughed out loud at the smallest of jokes and that got him in a lot of trouble even when he was not the culprit. We exchanged pleasantries and befriended Shah that night. He was one of us now,a part of the gang. We stayed up all night and he talked and talked and talked about his classmates, teachers and how he had been to Nepal before.
We arrived in Nepal very exited and enthusiastic. We were hell bent on having fun our way especially because all the strict teachers had decided not to travel with us. I guess they had decided to let us live a little or were sick and tired of seeing and managing us even on a vacation. There were only two teachers traveling with us. One of them was the head of our science department Mr Venkat. He was a quiet and simple, typically south Indian guy who had really short hair that used to stand up straight at the back giving him the look of an exotic love bird. He was a nice guy who knew boys were boys and liked to have fun. He let us speak in our mother tongues when we were on tour and told us not to mention about it to anyone back home, because at school we had a strictly “speak in English” rule otherwise we were fined 5 rupees every time we were caught. 5 rupees may sound small change now but back then 5 rupees meant a perk or a dairy milk candy, it meant a postcard of your favorite WWF wrestler, it meant a new rubber cricket ball and most importantly it meant we did not give the school any more than the ridiculous amounts of money than our parents were already paying as school fees (and they told us education is going to get even more expensive in the future as if it already wasn’t). The other teacher accompanying us was our Hindi professor Mr. Radhesham or Shreemanji as he liked to be called. We called him chimpanzee or chimpu behind his back. He was a funny guy, not funny as in he made you laugh with his sense of humor but funny as in goofy and stupid. He tried to speak in English but pronounced all his E’s as O’ and all his A’s as E’s. I bet he would have lost a fortune if the fine applied to him because even his English sounded like Shuddh Hindi. One of his favorite dialogues was and I quote “When you was in the Sevonth kilaas (Seventh class) you was a very great baai(good boy) but now you have became the very naughty child, stend up (stand up) on the bench with you fingers above your lips.” Hindi had earned him his bread and butter and I guess English was not just his cup of tea.
Nepal was exotic and breathtakingly beautiful with its scenic beauty, mountains and pleasant weather but most of us weren’t really bothered if we were in Nepal or Nampally. All that mattered was that we were with our friends with no real adult supervision. We saw temples, trekked up hills and mountains, clicked pictures with monks but our minds were always elsewhere, the Nepali girls. While our tour guide was explaining us the significance of the silent hands temple or Katmandu’s history our roving eyes were looking at those beauties with tiny eyes and well rounded faces. All of them had great figures unlike 80% of the women in Hyderabad who are either too skinny or too fat and most of them cover their faces behind a burkha.
In school we usually stuck to our group and did not bother about the others too much but in Nepal there were just around 60 of us and we got to know each other pretty well as we spent all day and night together. The days were spent sight seeing and at nights we used to sleep in the huge assembly hall of a Govt. school and that was were we had the most fun. Our Sirs were given a separate room so we were on our own all night. The dark of the night is when you get all your stupidly brilliant ideas and Andy had come up with this one. While all the other boys were fast asleep, we were going to draw moustaches and other graffiti on their faces with our tooth paste and click pictures. All of us were skeptical and first but decided to go with it. So Tarun,Hardik,Dhawal and me spread to one corner of the room and Jogesh, Chottu, Dhawal and Andy went to the other corner and we started our art work and started improvising as we went along. From faces we shifted to hair and armpits as well and hair oil, gel and shaving foam were added to our armory. We got the most amazing pictures but then Dhawal messed up, he liked his art work on one particular guy so much that he couldn’t control his laughter and fell on the guy. That startled the guy and he woke up and saw what was going on. Thankfully he wasn’t the class bully or a senior. He too couldn’t help but laugh when he saw the designs on the others around him. This guys name was Abhijeet Shah. He was a gujju from the A section who got along really well with everyone one. We too were acquainted to him but he was not a friend up until then. Abhijeet or Shah as everyone called him looked more like a Shahlini to me. He was very fair, walked like a girl and had no body hair whatsoever. He was always smiling and could take a lot of shit from everyone. He was the most punished boy in school as he was often thrown out of classes and seen wandering around the Principal’s office more than he was spotted in class. His problem was that he was very talkative and laughed out loud at the smallest of jokes and that got him in a lot of trouble even when he was not the culprit. We exchanged pleasantries and befriended Shah that night. He was one of us now,a part of the gang. We stayed up all night and he talked and talked and talked about his classmates, teachers and how he had been to Nepal before.
Monday, March 8, 2010
CHAPTER 5-HERE COME THE WOMEN(COINCIDENTLY COMPOSED ON WOMEN'S DAY)
Till this point of time, the thought of the opposite sex was non existent in our lives. Even sitting next to girls in the tutorial was considered taboo. We knew girls were different to us; they wore pretty dresses, tied their hair in different ways, spoke softly and giggled a lot. But we did not find any of that attractive up until now. But now we were changing. Our soft voices was getting coarse, we sounded like uncles. There was scattered hair growth on our faces and other places. The funniest one was Shehbaaz Motu’s case. He had grown precisely three strands of hair on his chin and it seemed like God has forgotten to water his garden. Every morning while walking to
Saturday, March 6, 2010
CHAPTER 4-EXAM FEVER
The exams were here. Class 9 had passed us by in a jiffy. We did not even notice that a whole year had gone and all we had done was masti. 15 days before the exams and everyone was finally paying attention in class to all the important questions that were given but Hardik and Andy who missed a lot of classes due to basketball tournaments and other reasons of unnecessary absenteeism were still busy completing their notes.
The mood in colony was glum too; all of us came for our tuitions, met for a bit but did not have our late night rendezvous. The exams were getting to us. All everyone talked about now was why the fuck had Pythagoras made his theorem and how remembering
The results were out all of us had passed, some of us like Jogesh with flying colors but the biggest surprise was Tarun. He had worked his arse off done better than most of us. But this joy and relief was short lived. Because waiting for us with open arms and waiting to smother us with pain were the Tenth class Board Exams and nobody missed a chance to rub it upon us. I sometimes felt that even our parents got a sadistic pleasure out of reminding us about the so called ‘most important year of our lives’ because they had been through that phase and their parents had tortured them then and they had waited all their lives just to see us complete class 9 so they could get their sweet revenge and attain mukti. But all that could wait because right now we had the summer vacations and the vast expanses of the Nizam college cricket grounds beaconed. My cricket bat that had began to feel lonely and neglected finally got some much deserved attention. Cable connections were back in the houses; Mango juice replaced the coffee and Billu’s internet browsing history showed webpage’s other than Google which he used to search “how to pass your exams without studying”.
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