So by now everyone in the community knew about our love stories and that is why they say that word of mouth is the best way of marketing. But you should not believe all that you hear. All of us, i.e all three couples would look for an opportunity to meet each other and because everyone was talking about us we wanted to keep it really discreet and the more we tired to do that the more it looked like we were doing something wrong and the more people followed us and kept and eye on our movements. There was a parking lot in the back of an apartments in the colony where we used to meet and one day someone spotted a couple kissing there and there was speculation that it was Preeti and me but the fact of the matter is that we were the only couple among the three who hadn’t even thought about kissing yet. My friends used to ask me and I would get really irritated about what base I had reached yet and how was I to tell them getting to any base was the last thing on my mind and that I loved her with all my heart.
Navratri was here and like every year all of us were planning to go to the celebrations organized by a neighboring colony. Preeti and her gang would be there too and we had planned that whatever opportunity we get we were going to play garba together. Five nights went by; everything was going smoothly and according to plan. We were dancing all through the night and sleeping and day dreaming all through the day. My parents weren’t happy and Preeti’s family especially her elder sister who too came there every night was giving her a hard time. On the sixth night, the gang and I were near the food stalls munching on some delicious chat and mithaai while the girls were playing garba. A couple of romeos from the locality approached them and started acting fresh. Billu was the first one to notice it and alerted the rest of us. I rushed towards them and confronted the goons and one of them pushed me away. All this was getting a lot of eyeballs and undue attention towards us. I tried not to fight even though I felt like beating the hell out of them but once the bloke started verbally abusing me I gave him a low blow and he started shrieking in agony and withering in pain. In the mean time the other bloke had run away to call on the rest of his goondas and I knew this was going to be a big bad fight. Sallu suggested that we send the girls’ home before it starts getting ugly and Billu said we too should leave immediately. But Rajesh and Ameet were not leaving until they dealt with the goons who had the balls to tease their girls and make sure that no one else ever tried doing it. I was scared and apprehensive but did not want to the others to think I was being a coward so I unwillingly said that we should stay. So we sent the girls home and waited for the consequences of our actions. I felt sorry for Shehbaaz kalu,Motu,Billu,Sallu and Timmy, they had nothing to do with the fight except for the fact that I was involved and now they would have to get beaten and bruised because of me. I also felt proud to have such good friends who did not question me whether I was right or wrong and stood by me. But all this was like the last thing on our minds. All we could think about was how we were going to deal with the situation and what were we going to do if the guys were really strong and powerful. I wished Hardik would somehow magically appear there with his gunmen and scare the hell out of the romeos. I thought of calling Tarun who was always ready for a fight for a solution but it was already way past midnight and he would have been fast asleep. In the mean time Timmy was creating a bigger gang for our fight. He had a few friends who were his age, Altaaz, shoheb, firaaz and Mubeen who came forward to help us but looking at them and their skinny figures I knew it was only going to add to the numbers and not our strength. Now a few more people would be getting a sound beating because of me. All of us were really tense and sat there with glum faces and hardly anyone spoke to each other. Billu tried breaking the tension by saying that if Timmy called a few more of these skinny malnourished looking friends of his then maybe they goons would pity us and let us go and all of us could just manage a nervous smile. This was the first time Billu’s joke hadn’t cheered me up. We waited for 10 minutes before the enemy arrived but it seemed like an eternity.
Fifteen angry looking men were standing in front of us. At the helm of the group was a bald looking neta type uncle in white kurta pyjama and he straight away grabbed Ameet, who was closest to him by the collar and pulled him up from his chair. We all yelled at him asking him to let him go and told him to listen to our side of the story before he did anything. He gave Ameet a mighty jerk before letting go of him and he fell among the chairs. Motu acted as out mediator and told netaji what had happened and it looked like he understood what had happened but suddenly one the blokes from the back slapped Motu and asked him to keep his tone lower. The velocity of the slap shook Motu up and we too felt the shivers and all I wanted to do then was yell bhaago and get out of there as quickly as we could. But Motu lowered his voice and continued with our story, with his right hand firmly placed against his bruised cheek. Turns out netaji was the father of the bloke who I had punched in the sack and wanted to know who did it and if we told him who it was he would let the rest of the group go. All eyes wandered towards me and I said I had done it and he called me forward and asked his son to slap me. The eve teaser swung his hand with all his might and whacked me across my face and got me in the eye too. My eyes were moist and watery and everyone thought I was crying. Netaji felt that he had humiliated us enough and his job here was done but before he left he called the organizers of the event, pointed towards us and asked them not to let anyone of us inside ever again. It was a premature end to the navratri festivities for all of us but I was thankful no bones were broken. I learnt a lot of things that night; in India only the powerful and the unruly have a say, never start a fight no matter what, my friends were the best things that happened to me, Timmy’s friends were my friends too, by being slapped and standing up for the girls I had become a hero in their eyes and no matter how hard to try to hide your wounds, mom will eventually find out about them.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
CHAPTER 14-STUPID STUPID LOVE
It was official. Preeti and I were a couple but we did not want anyone else to find out. Of course other than the people we were always surrounded by i.e. my friends, her friends, my friends at school, her friends at school, her friend’s boyfriends and friends of our friends. Pretty soon everyone got a whiff of the affair and we did not know who to blame. Was it our friends who had told the others or was it us who had told about it to so many people or was it our being so deeply in love that everyone could see it in our eyes or maybe it was a combination of all three.
Before Preeti proposed and we became a couple we used to talk to each other casually in front of everyone but now that we were a couple there was a sudden urge to hide the fact that we were talking to each other from everyone. Now we used to meet behind parking lots, talked in sign language in the tutorials, avoided each other in public and call on each others home phones when our parents were not around. We talked about the same things as before but said I love you to each other after every three minutes. We had been brought up that way because everyone around us always gossiped about people having a affair and used to talk about couples in derogatory terms like he’s after her and they have hooked up and stuff like that but nobody ever said that they are in love or anything positive about being a couple and that put the thought in our minds that what we were doing was totally wrong and unacceptable.
In school, I could not concentrate and always thought about her. When the Biology teacher talked about how the heart pumped blood and how it passed through arteries and veins all I could think about was how my heart beat became faster every time I saw Preeti. When in the history class the teacher talked about Rasputin and the affair with the Russian Queen I would be reminded of our affair. When the Hindi sir talked about Krishna and Radha I would imagine it was us and even during recess I would be busy updating the guys about what was happening with my relationship. As soon as I got home Preeti would call me from a telephone booth and ask the guy there to ask for me and if anyone else answered the phone tell them it was Tarun who was calling for me. The thrill and excitement of the affair became so exciting that we started taking bigger risks. We would decide on what clothes we were wearing and wear the same colors and she would walk past me as many times as she could when we were standing in the colony. We would buy chocolates for each other and share it when ever we got a chance to pass it around.
I also hung around a lot more with Rajesh and Ameet (Preeti’s friend’s boyfriends) and we used to go on group dates to the Public Garden for a walk early in the mornings because we thought that nobody we knew would be up so early in the morning. But we were wrong there were thousands of people there every morning and hundreds of them were well acquainted to us. So when were on our leisurely strolls too we had to keep our eyes and ears open and our instincts razor sharp and be ready to run and hide if we saw a similar face. We did not even know how many times we had been caught and seen with each other and there was this constant fear that if someone went ahead and told about it to any of our parents we would be in deep trouble but the adrenaline rush and the thrill of it all kept us going and we used to come up with newer ways to meet and hook up. I had also befriended guys who lived in Preeti’s apartment so that on the pretext of playing cricket or visiting them I could catch a glimpse of her.
Then one day at school in the English class we were studying the chapter about Chacha Nehru’s letters to his daughter Indira Gandhi when he was in prison and in one of the letters he had written to her that she should do whatever her heart wished to do but make sure that she doesn’t do anything that she wanted to hide from the others because if you want to hide something from the others it is because your conscience is telling you that it is wrong and one should never fight their conscience. That got me thinking and I thought that when I knew I was in love and was doing nothing wrong why did I want to hide it from everyone and why did it feel so wrong? I decided that I should tell my folks about my girlfriend and come clean and clear my conscience but as soon as I got home and Preeti called me using Tarun’s name and I realized that ideologies like Nehruji’s did not work in the real world and even if they did there was no place for it in my world. I was having too much fun being secretive and wrong. It was all over the top and crazy stuff but being in love makes you do so many stupid things and I was doing them all at once because according to me once your heart starts beating faster your brain stops functioning properly and mine had but I did not regret it one bit because when you are in love, stupidity is your shadow.
Before Preeti proposed and we became a couple we used to talk to each other casually in front of everyone but now that we were a couple there was a sudden urge to hide the fact that we were talking to each other from everyone. Now we used to meet behind parking lots, talked in sign language in the tutorials, avoided each other in public and call on each others home phones when our parents were not around. We talked about the same things as before but said I love you to each other after every three minutes. We had been brought up that way because everyone around us always gossiped about people having a affair and used to talk about couples in derogatory terms like he’s after her and they have hooked up and stuff like that but nobody ever said that they are in love or anything positive about being a couple and that put the thought in our minds that what we were doing was totally wrong and unacceptable.
In school, I could not concentrate and always thought about her. When the Biology teacher talked about how the heart pumped blood and how it passed through arteries and veins all I could think about was how my heart beat became faster every time I saw Preeti. When in the history class the teacher talked about Rasputin and the affair with the Russian Queen I would be reminded of our affair. When the Hindi sir talked about Krishna and Radha I would imagine it was us and even during recess I would be busy updating the guys about what was happening with my relationship. As soon as I got home Preeti would call me from a telephone booth and ask the guy there to ask for me and if anyone else answered the phone tell them it was Tarun who was calling for me. The thrill and excitement of the affair became so exciting that we started taking bigger risks. We would decide on what clothes we were wearing and wear the same colors and she would walk past me as many times as she could when we were standing in the colony. We would buy chocolates for each other and share it when ever we got a chance to pass it around.
I also hung around a lot more with Rajesh and Ameet (Preeti’s friend’s boyfriends) and we used to go on group dates to the Public Garden for a walk early in the mornings because we thought that nobody we knew would be up so early in the morning. But we were wrong there were thousands of people there every morning and hundreds of them were well acquainted to us. So when were on our leisurely strolls too we had to keep our eyes and ears open and our instincts razor sharp and be ready to run and hide if we saw a similar face. We did not even know how many times we had been caught and seen with each other and there was this constant fear that if someone went ahead and told about it to any of our parents we would be in deep trouble but the adrenaline rush and the thrill of it all kept us going and we used to come up with newer ways to meet and hook up. I had also befriended guys who lived in Preeti’s apartment so that on the pretext of playing cricket or visiting them I could catch a glimpse of her.
Then one day at school in the English class we were studying the chapter about Chacha Nehru’s letters to his daughter Indira Gandhi when he was in prison and in one of the letters he had written to her that she should do whatever her heart wished to do but make sure that she doesn’t do anything that she wanted to hide from the others because if you want to hide something from the others it is because your conscience is telling you that it is wrong and one should never fight their conscience. That got me thinking and I thought that when I knew I was in love and was doing nothing wrong why did I want to hide it from everyone and why did it feel so wrong? I decided that I should tell my folks about my girlfriend and come clean and clear my conscience but as soon as I got home and Preeti called me using Tarun’s name and I realized that ideologies like Nehruji’s did not work in the real world and even if they did there was no place for it in my world. I was having too much fun being secretive and wrong. It was all over the top and crazy stuff but being in love makes you do so many stupid things and I was doing them all at once because according to me once your heart starts beating faster your brain stops functioning properly and mine had but I did not regret it one bit because when you are in love, stupidity is your shadow.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
CHAPTER 13-IGNORING HER IS BLISS!
My ego was hurt, my heart was broken. I had imagined the camp to be one of the most memorable and happy chapters of my life but it had turned out to be a tragedy. I couldn’t understand why Preeti had reacted the way she did. As soon as we got back from the camp Preeti’s elder sister who was equally hot came up to me and gave me a lecture on how they were from a good family and if word got out about Preeti and me her name would be tainted forever and her dad wouldn’t allow her to attend tutorials anymore and if I did not give up on persuing her she would get her cousins to beat me up. I was a little scared but now getting Preeti to agree to become my girlfriend was a matter of pride for me. How could her sister have insulted me in front of my gang who as a matter of fact just sat there and saw the whole tamasha? I was even more motivated now and that is when love also became war for me. But I was really confused too, so I decided to share this with the boys at school. None of them had any experience in wooing a girl but I just wanted to get the burden off my chest. Tarun couldn’t help but laugh his heart out because for the first time in his entire life he got a chance to pull my leg. The others too were sarcastic rather than being sympathetic and I felt like a loser. But Andy gave me an idea. He said he had seen a Telugu movie in which the hero tries to woo the girl but fails and after that he starts ignoring her and making her feel insignificant and finally the heroine realizes what she is missing out on and makes up for her folly. I thought it was a stupid idea because that was exactly what Preeti had asked me to do, to leave her alone. Anyway, I had nothing to lose and decided that I should give it a go, what other choice did I have anyway? So I started ignoring Preeti in the tutorial, I would smile pleasantly and say hi to her friends Shruti and Samreen but when she tried to make eye contact I would make a face and look the other way. If she was coming towards me from the opposite direction I would suddenly change the direction in which I was going and made sure that she knew I was running away from her. I ignored her completely. I did not ask about her to her friends anymore and when they tried to bring up her topic I would tell them without any hesitation that I was over her and did not want to talk about her. I could see that my strategy was working but I wasn’t really sure about it.
One day while talking to Rehman, a tuition mate who I spoke to often because of our common interest in cricket the topic of girls came up and he told me that his cousin Ruheen had a huge crush on me and thought that I looked a lot like Shah Rukh Khan and wanted to be friends with me. I had seen Ruheen around a lot in the tutorials and also when she came to pick up her younger brother after school who was three classes junior to us. But I had never given her any real attention up until then. She was really pretty and made all the boys’ heads turn every time she stepped inside our school gates and the best thing about it was that she was oblivious to the fact that she was so gorgeous. I was happy and relieved at least some girl wanted to be friends with me but I had already signed sealed and gift wrapped my heart, ready to be given to Preeti. But my mind started working faster than a computer and I came up with a master plan. I would befriend Ruheen and talk to her after tutorials everyday and make sure that Preeti was looking. I thought that would make her jealous about the fact that the importance given to her by me would decrease and anyway girls are a weird lot, even if they don’t like a particular thing they wouldn’t want anyone else to have it.
Rehman introduced me to his cousin and we were friends. Now every time she came to school I made sure I was either batting in the nets or if sometimes I was bowling my run up would become longer and I would bowl a couple of miles faster. I didn’t know where the sudden burst of energy came from but she had that effect on me. I would try my hardest to impress her but I was careful because I did not want the teachers to notice I was flirting with a girl in the school campus. We exchanged gifts on our birthdays, valentines and friendships days and pretended to talk to each other everyday after tutorials but there was no real conversation. She was really pretty, elegant and lady like but the spark between us was missing. I could never imagine her as my girlfriend no matter how hard I tried. On my birthday she gifted me a musical card that could sing Happy Birthday and looked really expensive. She had addressed it from- Me, I couldn’t take a chance and have anyone at home become suspicious that it was given by a girl so I changed the Me to Mizbah (If you remember, he was Tarun’s arch enemy in school because he had told on him once and gotten him badly beaten by Suzie Miss.). But my folks wouldn’t know all that. Now it was her birthday and my turn to gift her something equally good if not better, so I thought hard and bought her an audio cassette of the upcoming Shah Rukh Khan movie Dil se and got it gift wrapped for her. But as soon as I got home I couldn’t stop my urge to listen to the songs once before I gave the cassette away so I tore the gift wrap, removed the seal and enjoyed listening to the songs a couple of times. I was engrossed listening to the songs and lost count of time and was late for the tutorials and mom was shouting at me to get out of the house right away. I realized that I did not have enough time to gift wrap it again so I removed a few stickers from the birthday cards given to me by my friends and stuck them on the cassette case and gifted it to her. She really loved her gift and the decoration too. But I was actually happier than her because Preeti had seen me giving the gift to Ruheen and ran away from there. The next day her friends told me that Preeti might have a soft corner for me because she kept mentioning my name a lot of times since the day I started talking to Ruheen and was very anxious and eager to know if we were seeing each other. They also told me that she was almost in tears when she saw me gifting something to Ruheen. Just then Preeti arrived and extended her hand towards me as if she was signaling a sign of friendship. I wanted to jump up in the air and celebrate but instead I shook hands with her and smiled. I was happy my plan had been successful but Preeti did something that totally swept me off my feet she went down on one knee and said the three magical words “I love you.” I was blushing like a girl and quickly replied I love you too and grabbed her hand and brought her up. I cleared things with her about Ruheen and told her that she was just a good friend and nothing more than that. I had won my love and also the war but I lost a good friend that day. Ruheen never spoke to me from that day on and for many months I thought it was because she liked me and was disappointed that we couldn’t be together but one day Rehman cleared my misconception and told me that it was because one of the stickers on the cassette I had gifted her read “I love you sweetheart” and she thought I had proposed to her and then cheated on her. My stupid mistake had resulted in a huge misunderstanding which eventually helped me in getting my girl. Life is like that- cruel and unpredictable. I had found love but at the expense of breaking another fragile heart.
One day while talking to Rehman, a tuition mate who I spoke to often because of our common interest in cricket the topic of girls came up and he told me that his cousin Ruheen had a huge crush on me and thought that I looked a lot like Shah Rukh Khan and wanted to be friends with me. I had seen Ruheen around a lot in the tutorials and also when she came to pick up her younger brother after school who was three classes junior to us. But I had never given her any real attention up until then. She was really pretty and made all the boys’ heads turn every time she stepped inside our school gates and the best thing about it was that she was oblivious to the fact that she was so gorgeous. I was happy and relieved at least some girl wanted to be friends with me but I had already signed sealed and gift wrapped my heart, ready to be given to Preeti. But my mind started working faster than a computer and I came up with a master plan. I would befriend Ruheen and talk to her after tutorials everyday and make sure that Preeti was looking. I thought that would make her jealous about the fact that the importance given to her by me would decrease and anyway girls are a weird lot, even if they don’t like a particular thing they wouldn’t want anyone else to have it.
Rehman introduced me to his cousin and we were friends. Now every time she came to school I made sure I was either batting in the nets or if sometimes I was bowling my run up would become longer and I would bowl a couple of miles faster. I didn’t know where the sudden burst of energy came from but she had that effect on me. I would try my hardest to impress her but I was careful because I did not want the teachers to notice I was flirting with a girl in the school campus. We exchanged gifts on our birthdays, valentines and friendships days and pretended to talk to each other everyday after tutorials but there was no real conversation. She was really pretty, elegant and lady like but the spark between us was missing. I could never imagine her as my girlfriend no matter how hard I tried. On my birthday she gifted me a musical card that could sing Happy Birthday and looked really expensive. She had addressed it from- Me, I couldn’t take a chance and have anyone at home become suspicious that it was given by a girl so I changed the Me to Mizbah (If you remember, he was Tarun’s arch enemy in school because he had told on him once and gotten him badly beaten by Suzie Miss.). But my folks wouldn’t know all that. Now it was her birthday and my turn to gift her something equally good if not better, so I thought hard and bought her an audio cassette of the upcoming Shah Rukh Khan movie Dil se and got it gift wrapped for her. But as soon as I got home I couldn’t stop my urge to listen to the songs once before I gave the cassette away so I tore the gift wrap, removed the seal and enjoyed listening to the songs a couple of times. I was engrossed listening to the songs and lost count of time and was late for the tutorials and mom was shouting at me to get out of the house right away. I realized that I did not have enough time to gift wrap it again so I removed a few stickers from the birthday cards given to me by my friends and stuck them on the cassette case and gifted it to her. She really loved her gift and the decoration too. But I was actually happier than her because Preeti had seen me giving the gift to Ruheen and ran away from there. The next day her friends told me that Preeti might have a soft corner for me because she kept mentioning my name a lot of times since the day I started talking to Ruheen and was very anxious and eager to know if we were seeing each other. They also told me that she was almost in tears when she saw me gifting something to Ruheen. Just then Preeti arrived and extended her hand towards me as if she was signaling a sign of friendship. I wanted to jump up in the air and celebrate but instead I shook hands with her and smiled. I was happy my plan had been successful but Preeti did something that totally swept me off my feet she went down on one knee and said the three magical words “I love you.” I was blushing like a girl and quickly replied I love you too and grabbed her hand and brought her up. I cleared things with her about Ruheen and told her that she was just a good friend and nothing more than that. I had won my love and also the war but I lost a good friend that day. Ruheen never spoke to me from that day on and for many months I thought it was because she liked me and was disappointed that we couldn’t be together but one day Rehman cleared my misconception and told me that it was because one of the stickers on the cassette I had gifted her read “I love you sweetheart” and she thought I had proposed to her and then cheated on her. My stupid mistake had resulted in a huge misunderstanding which eventually helped me in getting my girl. Life is like that- cruel and unpredictable. I had found love but at the expense of breaking another fragile heart.
Monday, April 19, 2010
CHAPTER 12- LOVE IS IN THE AIR
I was trying my hardest to get Preeti to like me but to no avail and out of nowhere God gave me an opportunity. The Yuva Sangh- a non-profit organization that worked for the development of the youth through various programs was organizing a two day camp for hiking and trekking at a place called Gun rock. It was a really beautiful place filled with hillocks and valleys and greenery everywhere. It also had the best spot for rappelling down a hill. Unfortunately Hyderabad has really expanded far and wide now and there are no guns or rocks left there anymore and all you will see there is a concrete jungle.
It was the ideal place to fall in love with nature and with each other. The Gang was going, so was I, like we always did but this time Preeti and her friends were coming too and I was really excited about it. It would mean I could spend two whole days with her, turn on my charm and make her fall truly, madly and deeply in love with me. I did my best to impress her by being really cool and pulling other peoples leg. I thought I was really smart to do that and I would win her over and to an extent I did because she changed places and came and sat closer to us in the bus with her friends. But my superiority complex was shattered when the faculty taught us how to tie different types of knots and I couldn’t even get one right, I still cannot. My bubble was completely burst when they taught us how to tie a harness and I needed at least six goes to get it right. Kaalu was the first one to try out all the activities. He did rock climbing really easily using the three point technique the faculty had demonstrated to us and when it was my turn I was clumsy and slow and I hurt my elbows and shins but what hurt most was my ego being shattered. I realized then that everybody has some or the other talent in them and I should respect them and learn from them. But my pyar ka bhoot hadn’t died down yet I was still trying my hardest to impress Preeti. In the evening during the camp fire I did a stand up spoof on all the expressions and rumblings I had seen and heard from the group when they were asked to rappel down a cliff or squeeze through a gap between two rocks and made everyone laugh till they cried and I finally could see my hard work reaping some rewards. When I was having dinner with the gang, Preeti’s friend Shruti approached me and said she wanted to talk to me about something,
Shruti- How was your day today?
Me- I had a lot of fun. (while on the inside I was still coming to terms with being such a jerk for so long)
Shruti- How are the elbows now?
Me- Its nothing, being a sportsman am used to such minor injuries (still grimacing with pain every time I moved my hand from the plate to my mouth to eat)
Shruti- Well, you were really funny during the camp fire.
Me- ah! That was nothing (trying to act modest but blushing with pride)
I was getting restless because this conversation was going nowhere so I finally asked her what was it that she wanted to talk to me about.
Shruti stumbled and mumbled and finally asked and I quote “We were wondering which one of us you do not consider as your sister?”
I wanted to burst out laughing and say there’s no way I would consider any of you as a sister because I think all of you are totally smoking hot. But better sense prevailed and I thought over it for a couple of minutes and said –“Preeti”, she gave me a huge smile and walked away. I thought I had finally made my feelings known to her and it had been much easier than I had imagined. I did not share this with the gang as I wanted to hear it from Preeti before I told anyone and besides my experience of sharing a secret with my friends and expecting to be a secret was unrealistic. The whole night I couldn’t sleep as my heart was singing with joy. The next morning I was the first one to get ready and I waited with bated breath for the girls to come out from their rooms so that I could see Preeti and give her one of my best heavily dimpled hugest of smiles. But when I did that she stared at me with never seen before hatred and anger. I couldn’t imagine what was wrong. I was really curious to know but we had a lot of activities lined up and I couldn’t get a chance to talk to her till noon. Finally at the lunch break I managed to get some proximity to her and she told me that she had only considered me as a friend and nothing more than that and if I ever tried to talk to her again she would complain about it to her dad and get me beaten up by him. My heart started to feel really heavy as soon as I heard those words, my heart beat was racing, my legs felt lifeless and numb. This trip was not going as I had expected. My elbows and shins were injured, my ego was hurt and now to add insult to my injury my heart had been broken too. I tried to put up a brave face and told her I had never thought of her that way and she had mistaken my intentions and moved away from her with my tail between my legs before she made a big scene and stripped me of my self respect or what ever was left of it. I had been rejected even before I could propose. Love was in the air but unfortunately that was the only place where it was.
It was the ideal place to fall in love with nature and with each other. The Gang was going, so was I, like we always did but this time Preeti and her friends were coming too and I was really excited about it. It would mean I could spend two whole days with her, turn on my charm and make her fall truly, madly and deeply in love with me. I did my best to impress her by being really cool and pulling other peoples leg. I thought I was really smart to do that and I would win her over and to an extent I did because she changed places and came and sat closer to us in the bus with her friends. But my superiority complex was shattered when the faculty taught us how to tie different types of knots and I couldn’t even get one right, I still cannot. My bubble was completely burst when they taught us how to tie a harness and I needed at least six goes to get it right. Kaalu was the first one to try out all the activities. He did rock climbing really easily using the three point technique the faculty had demonstrated to us and when it was my turn I was clumsy and slow and I hurt my elbows and shins but what hurt most was my ego being shattered. I realized then that everybody has some or the other talent in them and I should respect them and learn from them. But my pyar ka bhoot hadn’t died down yet I was still trying my hardest to impress Preeti. In the evening during the camp fire I did a stand up spoof on all the expressions and rumblings I had seen and heard from the group when they were asked to rappel down a cliff or squeeze through a gap between two rocks and made everyone laugh till they cried and I finally could see my hard work reaping some rewards. When I was having dinner with the gang, Preeti’s friend Shruti approached me and said she wanted to talk to me about something,
Shruti- How was your day today?
Me- I had a lot of fun. (while on the inside I was still coming to terms with being such a jerk for so long)
Shruti- How are the elbows now?
Me- Its nothing, being a sportsman am used to such minor injuries (still grimacing with pain every time I moved my hand from the plate to my mouth to eat)
Shruti- Well, you were really funny during the camp fire.
Me- ah! That was nothing (trying to act modest but blushing with pride)
I was getting restless because this conversation was going nowhere so I finally asked her what was it that she wanted to talk to me about.
Shruti stumbled and mumbled and finally asked and I quote “We were wondering which one of us you do not consider as your sister?”
I wanted to burst out laughing and say there’s no way I would consider any of you as a sister because I think all of you are totally smoking hot. But better sense prevailed and I thought over it for a couple of minutes and said –“Preeti”, she gave me a huge smile and walked away. I thought I had finally made my feelings known to her and it had been much easier than I had imagined. I did not share this with the gang as I wanted to hear it from Preeti before I told anyone and besides my experience of sharing a secret with my friends and expecting to be a secret was unrealistic. The whole night I couldn’t sleep as my heart was singing with joy. The next morning I was the first one to get ready and I waited with bated breath for the girls to come out from their rooms so that I could see Preeti and give her one of my best heavily dimpled hugest of smiles. But when I did that she stared at me with never seen before hatred and anger. I couldn’t imagine what was wrong. I was really curious to know but we had a lot of activities lined up and I couldn’t get a chance to talk to her till noon. Finally at the lunch break I managed to get some proximity to her and she told me that she had only considered me as a friend and nothing more than that and if I ever tried to talk to her again she would complain about it to her dad and get me beaten up by him. My heart started to feel really heavy as soon as I heard those words, my heart beat was racing, my legs felt lifeless and numb. This trip was not going as I had expected. My elbows and shins were injured, my ego was hurt and now to add insult to my injury my heart had been broken too. I tried to put up a brave face and told her I had never thought of her that way and she had mistaken my intentions and moved away from her with my tail between my legs before she made a big scene and stripped me of my self respect or what ever was left of it. I had been rejected even before I could propose. Love was in the air but unfortunately that was the only place where it was.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
CHAPTER 11- I AM IN LOVE
It was a Sunday but our tenth class board exams were approaching. Geeta Mam had planned a full day study camp for us to revise a few important chapters. I was in a very irritable mood because I knew I was not going to get any rest and recreation for the whole week now. I reluctantly had a bath and called the gang to make sure they were attending classes today and left for the tutorials, I was a bit earlier than the others and was waiting for them near the entrance when my eyes wandered to who all were present in the class room. I saw a glimpse of someone pass by and my heart skipped a beat. I was eager to know who it was, so I moved a bit closer to get a better look and realized it was Preeti. I had seen her everyday for the past couple of years but she looked different today. She had tied her hair in two plaits like little girls do and looked really pretty. Her tiny nose, small eyes and fair complexion made her look almost like a Japanese girl. The green colored dress that she wore was really pretty and she looked breathtakingly beautiful in it. I had never felt anything like this before and I did not know what it was but I just wanted to keep looking at her. A touch on my shoulder from behind startled me and brought me back to my senses. It was Muez and he was wondering what I was up to. We headed inside the class and I made sure that we sat right behind Preeti which was unusual for us because we were known as compulsive back benchers. But I convinced Muez that we needed to pay attention in class today as our Tenth class Board Exams were approaching. For the first time in life, tenth class had benefited me in someway. The others in the gang were a bit late in arriving and I was pleased that they couldn’t sit with us that day because I did not want them to know what was going on because even I did not know what was going on. Was it what they call falling in love? Or did I just like the way that she looked today? For the rest of the day I couldn’t take my eyes of her. Before today I had always made fun of her and her friends and called her names like Japanese Fan, and Chinki (thats how us racist Indians call the Chinese people) but things had changed now. During the break when a guy tried to tease her I targeted the guy and made fun of him till he cried. I realized I was being extra nice to her from that day on. The care a damn attitude was gone and I was gentler when talking to the ladies. I couldn’t gather the courage to ask her to be my friend but I spoke a lot to her friends now and tried to impress them with my sense of humor. Whenever I got a chance I would sit behind her in class and keep admiring how beautiful she was. I loved everything about her, the way she smiled at her friends, the way she looked confused when she did not understand a question, the way she said thank you with a tilted head when I picked up the pen she had dropped and gave it to her and especially the way her hair moved when a gentle breeze was blowing.
I was in love for the first time and I wanted to share it with someone, so I told Billu about it and asked him not to tell anyone. He promised he wouldn’t but he told Sallu anyway. So now the three of us talked about it in signals in the group whenever she was passing by. Muez suspected something fishy was going on and asked me about it so I told him about it and asked him not to tell anyone about it. He went ahead and told Timmy anyway who in turn told about it to all the others in the gang. So now all my friends knew that I was in love and every time Preeti and her friends went past us they would tease me by saying “abe saale dekh Bhabhi jaa rahi hai” and I would blush too as if we were already blissfully married. I did not even know if she knew about my feelings for her or if she liked me, that is when Billu told me that two of her closest friends, Samreen and Shruti already had boyfriends who were in our class and he was well acquainted to them. He said that I could befriend them and they would help me in getting my girl.
It felt really strange but I had to approach Rajesh and Ameet and share my feelings with them. They gave me some inside information on what Preeti liked in a guy and what was her favorite flower and chocolate and stuff like that. So now whenever she was around I would talk loudly to my friends about how I loved the smell of jasmine and why red was my favorite color. I even spent 37 rupees and bought a Snickers bar that she loved and shared it with her friends and her which was abnormal for me as I hardly shared anything with anyone let alone expensive candy. “Oh the things we do for love.” But all the hard work paid off and she considered me a friend now. We still did not speak much but she smiled and said hi every time she saw me. I hated it now when we did not have tuitions and felt sleepless and restless if I did not see her for a day. I thought about her all day and all night long. I imagined where I would take her on a date and how good we would look together even before knowing if my feelings would be reciprocated. Those were the best days of my life and those were the worst days of my life. Best because I was cut off from the real world and lived in my own dreamland and worst because I did not know what would happen with my sports, my studies, my life. Meanwhile the news of me being in love with her was spreading like wildfire and I guess everyone except her knew about it now and that is when I learnt a really important lesson in life, never tell anyone a secret and tell them not to share it with anyone because people don’t like to be instructed on what to do and what not to do and one mans secret is gossip for the rest of the world.
I was in love for the first time and I wanted to share it with someone, so I told Billu about it and asked him not to tell anyone. He promised he wouldn’t but he told Sallu anyway. So now the three of us talked about it in signals in the group whenever she was passing by. Muez suspected something fishy was going on and asked me about it so I told him about it and asked him not to tell anyone about it. He went ahead and told Timmy anyway who in turn told about it to all the others in the gang. So now all my friends knew that I was in love and every time Preeti and her friends went past us they would tease me by saying “abe saale dekh Bhabhi jaa rahi hai” and I would blush too as if we were already blissfully married. I did not even know if she knew about my feelings for her or if she liked me, that is when Billu told me that two of her closest friends, Samreen and Shruti already had boyfriends who were in our class and he was well acquainted to them. He said that I could befriend them and they would help me in getting my girl.
It felt really strange but I had to approach Rajesh and Ameet and share my feelings with them. They gave me some inside information on what Preeti liked in a guy and what was her favorite flower and chocolate and stuff like that. So now whenever she was around I would talk loudly to my friends about how I loved the smell of jasmine and why red was my favorite color. I even spent 37 rupees and bought a Snickers bar that she loved and shared it with her friends and her which was abnormal for me as I hardly shared anything with anyone let alone expensive candy. “Oh the things we do for love.” But all the hard work paid off and she considered me a friend now. We still did not speak much but she smiled and said hi every time she saw me. I hated it now when we did not have tuitions and felt sleepless and restless if I did not see her for a day. I thought about her all day and all night long. I imagined where I would take her on a date and how good we would look together even before knowing if my feelings would be reciprocated. Those were the best days of my life and those were the worst days of my life. Best because I was cut off from the real world and lived in my own dreamland and worst because I did not know what would happen with my sports, my studies, my life. Meanwhile the news of me being in love with her was spreading like wildfire and I guess everyone except her knew about it now and that is when I learnt a really important lesson in life, never tell anyone a secret and tell them not to share it with anyone because people don’t like to be instructed on what to do and what not to do and one mans secret is gossip for the rest of the world.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
CHAPTER 10- RIOT IS WRONG
It was the day of Ganesh immersion, the city was shut down and all the roads were blocked. There were cops all over the place and all of us were instructed not to go on to the roads without informing our folks. It was a day all my mates from the neighborhood looked forward as the procession happened only once every year and for us, Muslim kids it was a holiday when we were free as we did not have to go for prayers nor visit our relatives or greet them. Some of our neighbors were part of the Scout’s troop and gave voluntary duty on the roads and helped the police with the security. The rest of us gathered on the terrace of the tallest building in our locality and watched the procession go by. We used to enjoy the sights and the sounds of the procession especially Motu, who never took his eyes of the road and kept enjoying every moment with his binoculars. He used to call us whenever he saw something special like this year he had spotted a Ganesh idol made out of pure gold and one that looked like Shankar Bhagwan. I would call Chottu to find out what time the Khairtabad Ganesh idol, the tallest one from the city would pass from Abids and we would wait eagerly for it.
Timmy wanted to go on to road for a while and have some kulfi and dance for a bit so we asked the watchman of our apartment to accompany us. We took permission from our parents and headed to the roads excited and pleased. Blaring loud music, people dancing like crazy, throwing Prasad and water at the public watching them was what we enjoyed the most. Once Billu and Timmy had eaten their share of kulfi,bhel puri, dahi papdi and drank three glasses of lassi each, we headed back to our places and decided to gather on the terrace again after lunch. I couldn’t imagine anyone could still be hungry after hogging on so much street food but knowing Billu’s appetite I knew he was still hungry, he always was.
Around 3.30 pm all of us gathered on the terrace again and were playing cricket when Motu spotted a huge commotion and we heard sounds of firing and people running all over the place. In a few minutes, everyone from the neighborhood was on the terrace wondering what was going on. Police sirens and ambulances were spotted everywhere. Motu was glued to his Binoculars and had spotted a major stampede happening near Central Publishers Stationary. My mom along with the other ladies from the apartment looked really worried and some of them were weeping. Salman’s dad handed him his cell phone and asked our mates to call their parents and inform that they were safe and with him. We did not understand what was happening. The procession happened everywhere but nothing like this had ever happened before. Timmy’s dad then arrived and said that he had just watched the news and there had been a scuffle between Hindus and the Muslims near a mosque in Begum Bazaar and this minor incident had escalated to the other parts of the city too. The old city was on a lock down and the police were on high alert. Just then we saw flames and Yam General Store near my school was burning. The smoke from its flames rose high above the city and it looked like the whole city was covered by a sky of smoke. Someone mentioned that the crowd was turning unruly and had done this mischief as the shop was owned by a Muslim. I couldn’t imagine who would want to burn down the store of the poor Mushtaq uncle, a pious and religious man who used to give us candies for free and joked that if he could he would never take any money from any of us but he had too to earn his livelihood. He was a Muslim but he did not differentiate or bother about who came to his shop. He treated all of us equally. I knew Dhawal would be really sad that his favorite store had been burned down and had been reduced to ashes. Where would he buy WWF trump cards now, where would we go when school was over and the canteen was closed? There were thousands of Hindu kids in school like him who would be heart broken. My thoughts were broken by the sounds of fire brigades arriving and firemen trying their best to stop the fire from escalating. My dad asked all the women to take the children home so that we were not exposed to anymore of these gory scenes. We wanted to stay but were forced to go home. Eventually we decided to stay together and watch the news in Salman’s house. The news reporter said that there were incidents and riots all over the city and now a temple had been destroyed by some Muslim rioters near Charminar and the police were having a hard time controlling the anti social elements and the Rapid Action Force and the Military had been pressed into action. I wondered who these haters were. I wondered if this would change things forever. A lot of my friends were Hindus and my dad had spent all his life doing business with the Marwadis in Begum Bazaar. I did not know any Hindus who hated me or my family and I knew for sure that neither I nor any of the Muslims I knew hated the Hindus and my belief was reinforced when Tarun’s mom called my place to enquire if all of us were alright and when I saw the sights on the news of a Muslim, carrying a bleeding Hindu Priest on his shoulders out of a Temple and putting him in an ambulance and the fireman trying to douse the fire at Yam General Store had a red Tilak on his forehead. Just then mom said something that cleared our thoughts, No religion in the world preaches fighting and violence and in any situation a riot is always wrong. The people who indulged in these riots did not have a religion and they only did all this to achieve their own selfish motives at the expense of the poor Indian public and played with the sentiments of thousands of people. She also said one more thing that none of us will ever forget and is my mantra in life, “WE ARE INDIANS, BEFORE WE ARE ANYTHING ELSE.”
Timmy wanted to go on to road for a while and have some kulfi and dance for a bit so we asked the watchman of our apartment to accompany us. We took permission from our parents and headed to the roads excited and pleased. Blaring loud music, people dancing like crazy, throwing Prasad and water at the public watching them was what we enjoyed the most. Once Billu and Timmy had eaten their share of kulfi,bhel puri, dahi papdi and drank three glasses of lassi each, we headed back to our places and decided to gather on the terrace again after lunch. I couldn’t imagine anyone could still be hungry after hogging on so much street food but knowing Billu’s appetite I knew he was still hungry, he always was.
Around 3.30 pm all of us gathered on the terrace again and were playing cricket when Motu spotted a huge commotion and we heard sounds of firing and people running all over the place. In a few minutes, everyone from the neighborhood was on the terrace wondering what was going on. Police sirens and ambulances were spotted everywhere. Motu was glued to his Binoculars and had spotted a major stampede happening near Central Publishers Stationary. My mom along with the other ladies from the apartment looked really worried and some of them were weeping. Salman’s dad handed him his cell phone and asked our mates to call their parents and inform that they were safe and with him. We did not understand what was happening. The procession happened everywhere but nothing like this had ever happened before. Timmy’s dad then arrived and said that he had just watched the news and there had been a scuffle between Hindus and the Muslims near a mosque in Begum Bazaar and this minor incident had escalated to the other parts of the city too. The old city was on a lock down and the police were on high alert. Just then we saw flames and Yam General Store near my school was burning. The smoke from its flames rose high above the city and it looked like the whole city was covered by a sky of smoke. Someone mentioned that the crowd was turning unruly and had done this mischief as the shop was owned by a Muslim. I couldn’t imagine who would want to burn down the store of the poor Mushtaq uncle, a pious and religious man who used to give us candies for free and joked that if he could he would never take any money from any of us but he had too to earn his livelihood. He was a Muslim but he did not differentiate or bother about who came to his shop. He treated all of us equally. I knew Dhawal would be really sad that his favorite store had been burned down and had been reduced to ashes. Where would he buy WWF trump cards now, where would we go when school was over and the canteen was closed? There were thousands of Hindu kids in school like him who would be heart broken. My thoughts were broken by the sounds of fire brigades arriving and firemen trying their best to stop the fire from escalating. My dad asked all the women to take the children home so that we were not exposed to anymore of these gory scenes. We wanted to stay but were forced to go home. Eventually we decided to stay together and watch the news in Salman’s house. The news reporter said that there were incidents and riots all over the city and now a temple had been destroyed by some Muslim rioters near Charminar and the police were having a hard time controlling the anti social elements and the Rapid Action Force and the Military had been pressed into action. I wondered who these haters were. I wondered if this would change things forever. A lot of my friends were Hindus and my dad had spent all his life doing business with the Marwadis in Begum Bazaar. I did not know any Hindus who hated me or my family and I knew for sure that neither I nor any of the Muslims I knew hated the Hindus and my belief was reinforced when Tarun’s mom called my place to enquire if all of us were alright and when I saw the sights on the news of a Muslim, carrying a bleeding Hindu Priest on his shoulders out of a Temple and putting him in an ambulance and the fireman trying to douse the fire at Yam General Store had a red Tilak on his forehead. Just then mom said something that cleared our thoughts, No religion in the world preaches fighting and violence and in any situation a riot is always wrong. The people who indulged in these riots did not have a religion and they only did all this to achieve their own selfish motives at the expense of the poor Indian public and played with the sentiments of thousands of people. She also said one more thing that none of us will ever forget and is my mantra in life, “WE ARE INDIANS, BEFORE WE ARE ANYTHING ELSE.”
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
CHAPTER 9- SEX EDUCATION
Biology was a very boring subject. It was generally depressing when our teachers talked about stomata, stigma and the Human Digestive System. But one Chapter that everyone was looking forward to was Human Reproduction, which was chapter 9 and on pages 156 to 183 in our text books. I remember it so distinctly because every time we opened our text books we inadvertently turned to that chapter and looked at the diagrams of the male and female reproductive organs.
Chapter 8 had been completed and we all knew that the next day we were going to study the only chapter we were excited about studying in our 12 years of schooling. Andy was specially looking forward to this day and couldn’t hide his excitement. But it was nothing like what we were expecting. Sheela teacher came in and started talking about Human Reproduction and mentioning strange stuff like Ovaries, eggs, ovules, X and Y chromosomes etc. The only word we were familiar with was sperm and that too was called spermatozoa. Dhawal and Chottu giggled every time it was mentioned and Jogesh looked a bit embarrassed. Most of us were really disappointed that the chapter had not lived up to our expectations. What we wanted to know about was how to do it, what was the right way to do it and I specially wanted to know how could the well endowed African American porn star in the porn movie could keep going for 2 hours non stop. It looked like a tough task and if that was the way it was supposed to happen I couldn’t imagine Andy could have ever had sex. He couldn’t climb the stairs to the dining hall without looking dazed and out of breath and looking at his thin body structure his family doctor could have ordered him to keep of sex for life and if he ever did it he would have succumbed to death because of an asthma attack. Imagine how the headlines in the newspapers would read the next day. Young Lean Malnourished boy succumbs due to his sexual urges. The bell rang and I guess Sheela teacher had guessed that all of us were totally confused and knew what kind of questions were running through our minds. So before leaving she informed us that the chapter will be completed in the next couple of days and then we would have a session on Sex Education where all our doubts and questions would be answered.
It was Saturday and all of us were sitting in class in our colored clothing as we were allowed to wear what we liked and not be stuffed in our uniforms and ties on Saturdays. We felt liberated. I was looking forward to the session on sex education and discussing it with my mates from the colony on Sunday and boasting about how I knew more about sex than them. Just then the Principal walked in and closed the door behind him. All of us were startled and stood up to wish him Good Morning. He wished us back and asked us to sit down and then announced that he was here to take the session on sex education.
I thought it was ironic that someone who had given up sex by taking a wow of celibacy was going to talk to us about Sex Education. I wondered when the last time he had done it was or had he ever had sex in his life? He started the session by asking us to shed all our inhibitions and ask him all the doubts we had as we were mature now and should not believe in the false stories and imaginary myths that our friends told us about sex. He said that in America everybody was given sex education by their parents and they called it talking about the birds and the bees. Now that’s an expression that I have still not understood and I never will. Where do birds and bees come in while talking about sex? In the words of famous Indian comedian Vir Das, I would be willing to pay good money to watch a bee doing a bird doggy style. The principal talked about how we should be vary of HIV and aids and how we should talk about sex and not treat it as a taboo. This again got me thinking that we Indians are the biggest hypocrites in the world. We treat sex as a taboo and still we are the second largest population in the world. The Principal answered all our questions and cleared our minds to a large extent. After that we never giggled or felt shy whenever sex or Human Reproductive organs were mentioned and now I believe all young people should be given sex education. I know I will talk about he birds and bees to my kids will you?
Chapter 8 had been completed and we all knew that the next day we were going to study the only chapter we were excited about studying in our 12 years of schooling. Andy was specially looking forward to this day and couldn’t hide his excitement. But it was nothing like what we were expecting. Sheela teacher came in and started talking about Human Reproduction and mentioning strange stuff like Ovaries, eggs, ovules, X and Y chromosomes etc. The only word we were familiar with was sperm and that too was called spermatozoa. Dhawal and Chottu giggled every time it was mentioned and Jogesh looked a bit embarrassed. Most of us were really disappointed that the chapter had not lived up to our expectations. What we wanted to know about was how to do it, what was the right way to do it and I specially wanted to know how could the well endowed African American porn star in the porn movie could keep going for 2 hours non stop. It looked like a tough task and if that was the way it was supposed to happen I couldn’t imagine Andy could have ever had sex. He couldn’t climb the stairs to the dining hall without looking dazed and out of breath and looking at his thin body structure his family doctor could have ordered him to keep of sex for life and if he ever did it he would have succumbed to death because of an asthma attack. Imagine how the headlines in the newspapers would read the next day. Young Lean Malnourished boy succumbs due to his sexual urges. The bell rang and I guess Sheela teacher had guessed that all of us were totally confused and knew what kind of questions were running through our minds. So before leaving she informed us that the chapter will be completed in the next couple of days and then we would have a session on Sex Education where all our doubts and questions would be answered.
It was Saturday and all of us were sitting in class in our colored clothing as we were allowed to wear what we liked and not be stuffed in our uniforms and ties on Saturdays. We felt liberated. I was looking forward to the session on sex education and discussing it with my mates from the colony on Sunday and boasting about how I knew more about sex than them. Just then the Principal walked in and closed the door behind him. All of us were startled and stood up to wish him Good Morning. He wished us back and asked us to sit down and then announced that he was here to take the session on sex education.
I thought it was ironic that someone who had given up sex by taking a wow of celibacy was going to talk to us about Sex Education. I wondered when the last time he had done it was or had he ever had sex in his life? He started the session by asking us to shed all our inhibitions and ask him all the doubts we had as we were mature now and should not believe in the false stories and imaginary myths that our friends told us about sex. He said that in America everybody was given sex education by their parents and they called it talking about the birds and the bees. Now that’s an expression that I have still not understood and I never will. Where do birds and bees come in while talking about sex? In the words of famous Indian comedian Vir Das, I would be willing to pay good money to watch a bee doing a bird doggy style. The principal talked about how we should be vary of HIV and aids and how we should talk about sex and not treat it as a taboo. This again got me thinking that we Indians are the biggest hypocrites in the world. We treat sex as a taboo and still we are the second largest population in the world. The Principal answered all our questions and cleared our minds to a large extent. After that we never giggled or felt shy whenever sex or Human Reproductive organs were mentioned and now I believe all young people should be given sex education. I know I will talk about he birds and bees to my kids will you?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)